TV Show

I watched an episode of "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC's Discovery Health channel. The womens stories on this show are unbelievable! Some of the stories feature women who have been diagnosed as infertile, so they never use birth control and some have had previous children. Two of the women on this one episode were super sick and went to the hospital for treatment of food poisoning or appendicitis. Well, one woman ended up being discharged and was told to take a suppository for constipation. The suppository "worked" and she went to the toilet and finally had relief...except that there was a baby in the toilet! And another woman was in the hospital getting treated for appendicitis when she had to go to the bathroom and she plopped out a baby on the hospital floor. After that, she found out that she was having another baby--- twins! Neither knew they were pregnant. I have my DVR set to record the whole series and I am fascinated.

If these women can get pregnant and not know it... maybe one day I'll get pregnant too.

I am still praying for a miracle....

Still waiting, wishing, hoping....

I think today is CD 114, making it almost 4 months since my last period. I have had some spotting on and off, especially since I started taking Vitex/Femaprin. Since I started taking the vitex, I definitely notice some cramping in my ovaries, so something is "happening" but not that much.

I have FINALLY lost the weight that I gained from my last IVF cycle in March when I started to hyperstimulate. I gained 14 lbs from the failed cycle. yikes

I watched this show on TLC called "I didn't know I was pregnant" and its about women who give birth (or close to it) and didn't even know they were pregnant. That show is fascinating!! Some of the women have been diagnosed infertile, so they never ever even thought they could get pregnant. It gives me some hope (kind of).

I still don't know exactly what I will be doing for the rest of the year for fertility treatments. I know that I most likely want to do a frozen cycle with my 1 frostie.

One thing that is holding me back is that my sister-in-law is pregnant and due in September. I am hosting her baby shower in August. I don't want to have a failed cycle around this time because it would be too hard for me to be around all this, I think. I am really excited to be an Aunt :)

Still on a break

I am still on a break from IVF. I have been dealing with the punches that life has thrown and there is a lot going on. I figure that I am still in my early 30's and have time for more IVF's. I have been considering maybe a frozen transfer, since I have 1 "perfect" frosty at the lab and I will have to pay another $300 for another year of storage. I might as well just use it. Nothing firm on that though.

I have started using Vitex, a herbal supplement which is supposed to help regulate menstrual cycles. I haven't noticed anything yet except that it makes me feel nausea. I have been taking it for a little over a week.

I still haven't gotten my period since March 5.... I have spotted twice since then and have been taking HPT about twice a month (just in case a miracle happens), but nothing yet.

I have a $3,000 deposit down at my IVF dr and I wonder if I should get it back and just hold onto until my next IVF cycle since its not going to be any time soon.

Just some thoughts..because I am "on a break". We have trips scheduled for the next couple months and my SIL is pregnant and I am hosting her baby shower in August. There is just too much going on to think about another IVF cycle right now (even though I realllly realllly want to!).

tick tick tick -- still waiting

I am back from vacation...it was really wonderful. I still don't have any update on when my next IVF will be. My Aunt Flo still hasn't shown up and that means I am on cycle day --- way too many to count (since March 5).

I did have some spotting on May 4/5 of this month, so I had my hopes up that it might be implantation bleeding, but I took a HPT this past week and it was negative.

I have other things going on in my life that I need to get sorted out before I can think about baby making again. Well, I think about having a baby all the time, but I need to sort out some things before I go through another IVF cycle.

Waiting

I am on cycle day 67 and still waiting for Aunt Flo to show up. I thought it was coming last week as I had some very light spotting and some cramping, but it was a quick spot and nothing ever came of it.

I peed on a stick about a week ago and it was negative. I am just waiting around to see what happens....

I have a $3,000 credit at the IVF clinic, so when I want to start my next cycle I have to come up with $1,025 for the Dr and $1400 for the meds. I am waiting for some money to fall out of the sky :)

In the meantime, I have just been trying to heal. The toll on my body and emotional state was incredible. I am just finally starting to take back off the weight I gained during my last 2 cycles and I am feeling better emotionally.

Mothers day came and went yesterday, meaning the same that it does to me every year -- nothing. My Mother left us when I was 7 years old and my Dad never remarried. So Mother's day has been just another day to me for my whole life. One day I hope that its celebrated because I am the Mom :)

We are leaving for a week vacation tomorrow to San Francisco and other Cali areas. I will post some pictures when I get back!

To bc or not

I broke down last week and did a HPT...it was negative.
Today is CD 41 and still no sign of my period. I do get cramps every once in a while, but they are just minor twinges.

I know that for me to get a period I will have to start birth control again.
Also, the weight from the cycle is still with me. Birth control will help to stabilize my hormones and take this extra weight off.

In May we are going on a vacation with my in-laws to California. So, I need to make my timing just right so that I start my period when we get back and then I can start my next cycle.

I *think* I have the $ thing figured out...well really I don't but I am taking some steps to better our financial situation. The government stimulus plan includes some options for homeowners to refinance and get a lower mortgage payment. This will help 7 million of 9 million homeowners in the U.S. To find out if your loan is owned by Freddie Mac or Fannie Mae to qualify: go to www.makinghomeaaffordable.gov I hope to get our mortgage payment lowered by at least $200 a month by refinancing to a lower interest rate.

CD 34

Today is cycle day 34 for me. 34 days since I got my period from my last failed cycle (ok, it was a cancelled cycle, but still thought of as a failure by me).



No, I haven't taken a home pregnancy test. I don't think I'm pregnant. I think my PCOS is acting up as it has my whole life and playing cruel tricks on me. My "normal" cycles usually last over 200 days. I have severe PCOS and get my period once or twice a year.



Trust me, I want to take a home pregnancy test and see the double lines. I just can't bear to pee on another stick and it to be negative. I feel so defeated. It's so unlike me.



Right now as I type this I feel a twinge in my ovary. Hopefully Aunt Flo is on the way so I don't have to worry for another hundreds of days "when" I will get my period.



I know I can take start my birth control pack and that will make me start my period. I am hesitant because I am supposed to go back into my dr.'s office when my period starts...so that I can start my next IVF cycle.



I am not ready.